We Are Damaged
by The Wicked Witch of Cupcakes
Summary: Set in an AU where Veronica convinces JD to be seventeen with her, but then Martha dies, which causes Veronica to attempt to blow up the school, and JD must stop her. Based off musical/ Rated M for language.


**Hi all! So I really love Heathers. I haven't seen the movie, yet, but I've seen the musical and it was mind-blowingly awesome. That being said, this is set in the musical universe and for those of you who haven't seen it, JD is a little more human and more sympathetic, and Martha is Veronica's best friend. If you haven't seen the music I would definitely listen to it, I have changed a few of the lyrics in this to fit my story better. This is also my first serious dramatic fanfiction, so I want to hear your opinion, just please be a little gentle. It's set in an AU where Martha dies, Veronica is the one who wants to blow up the school, and JD wants to stop her. I hope you like it!**

Veronica was pissed. She just had to sit through the funeral of two jocks who she, and her boyfriend, JD, had murdered. To be fair, she didn't know they were real bullets that she shot into Ram's body. This only added to her anger. Possibly the worst part of it all was that it actually seemed to work. After she and JD had framed Ram and Kurt's deaths as suicide because they had to hide their forbidden gay love, their fathers suddenly became pro-gay rights. Their murders had indirectly brought about tolerance in their small community of Westerberg, Ohio.

She trudged out of the church, feeling angry and a little defeated.

"What is that, that I smell in the air?...Is that tolerance?" JD's voice purred behind her, sarcastic as always. Veronica turned to face his devilish smile.

"Hey, you don't have to be so smug about it." Veronica hissed, voicing her feelings. JD stared at her, and then softened.

"Your love, that's what makes me happy." He kissed her, and Veronica didn't have the strength to stop him. He let go and she was immediately mad at herself for letting him kiss her.

"So…whose next?" He asked, smiling. Her anger came rushing back. "Heather Duke? She's the one who's started that three way rumor. I've been underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean." He laughed.

"No." Veronica said, forcefully. She was determined not to let anyone else die. "No, I will not accept this. We've already killed three people. This ends right here, right now." JD rolled his eyes.

"Or what?"

"I'll break up with you." Veronica said, her icy tone conveying her seriousness. JD stared at her. She couldn't read his face. Then he said, "Any war has casualties. That doesn't mean it's not worth fighting." She didn't answer. He turned away from her. He looked angry now.

"Well, so what? You'd rather go to jail? And give a free pass to the thugs who hurt people? Evil fucks who make life so unbearable that you can't stand to live in the world anymore." He stopped, but he still radiated anger.

"…How did your mother die?" Veronica didn't know what possessed her to ask, but she had to know. Maybe it was what had made JD so damaged. His face softened, and the moment it was there, it disappeared.

"You really wanna know?"

"Yeah."

"My dad said it was an accident. But she knew what she was doing. She walked into that building two minutes before dad blew it up. She waved to me from that building and then…Kaboom. She left me." Veronica didn't know what to say. She knew whatever she said couldn't comfort him.

"I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. The pain gives me clarity. You and I are special. We have a lot of work to do."

"What work?"

"Making the world a decent place for people who are decent."

"When does it end?"

"When the assholes are all dead!" Veronica pushed him away in disgust.

"_Fine we're damaged. Really damaged, but that does not make us wise." _JD opened his mouth to speak, but she held up her hand to silence him. _"We're not special, we're not different, we don't choose who lives or dies." _

"_Let's be normal, see bad movies. Sneak a beer and watch TV. We'll bake brownies or go bowling, don't you want a life with me? Can't we be seventeen? That's all I want to do. If you could let me in, I could be good with you."_ Veronica took JD's hand to reassure him.

"_People hurt us-"_

"_Or they vanish." _Veronica could hear the anger at the unfairness of it all in his voice.

"_And you're right, that really blows. But we let go…"_

"_Take a deep breath."_

"_And go buy some summer clothes. We'll go camping."_

"_Play some poker." _JD's wall of ice was starting to melt away.

"_And eat some chili fries…Maybe prom night?"_

"_Maybe dancing." _Veronica could see the little boy staring up at her behind JD's eyes.

"_Don't stop looking in my eyes…"_

"_Can't we be seventeen? Is that so hard to do? If you could let me in, I could be good with you. Let us be seventeen, if we still got the right."_

"_So what's it gonna be?"_

"_I wanna be with you."_

"_I wanna be with you." _

"_I wanna be with you…tonight." _

"_Yeah we're damaged, badly damaged…"_

"_But your love's too good to lose."_

"_Hold me tighter."_

"_Even closer."_

"_I'll stay if I'm what you choose…"_

"_Can't we be seventeen?"_

"_Cause I am what you choose."_

"_If we still have the right…"_

"_Cause you're the one I choose."_

"_You're the one I choose." _Veronica and JD held each other for a few moments. She thought about Heather, Ram and Kurt, then forced herself to focus on JD. She looked into his eyes, and what she saw was a scared teenage boy who wanted to be normal. Veronica knew that from this day forward things would be normal, JD was not going to kill anyone again. And JD thought that maybe, just maybe Veronica was right. He made a promise to himself and Veronica that he wouldn't kill anyone again. Not if it meant losing Veronica. And as they held each other, he couldn't help but imagine their futures together.

Of course as soon as things were finally starting to look up for Veronica, her world had to go spiraling out of control. It wasn't really her fault though. She was just trying to keep her life together. When Martha started to figure out that Ram's death might not have been suicide, Veronica had to tell the truth. And God, it felt so good. Finally having that weight lifted off her chest. Then she saw the tears in Martha's eyes right before she ran away. That's when she started to feel sick. It was Heather, she wanted to explain. Heather made me do it. She made me forge that love letter from Ram, I didn't enjoy one single part of it. That wasn't the worst though.

Veronica went home, and tried to contact Martha. Her mother said she wasn't home. Veronica was starting to feel dizzy. She prayed her gut feeling was wrong. She directly went to Martha's house, but still couldn't find her. Finally after scouring all Martha's favorite places, she simply asked Martha's mother to tell Martha that she needed to speak with her. And that it was urgent.

When Veronica got home, she tried to get some sleep, but her bed was too hot and too lumpy. She called JD. Thank the Lord he picked up.

"JD?"

"Veronica? You know you don't have to ask for permission to climb through my window."

"JD. This is serious." She explained the situation.

"And you couldn't find her?" JD asked.

"No. I checked all her usual hangouts."

"…I wouldn't worry. She just needs some time alone to herself." Veronica was silent as she thought about this. Maybe. But where could she have possibly gone?

"Do you want me to come over?" JD asked sincerely over the phone. As tempting as it was, Veronica didn't want to keep bothering JD with her paranoia.

"No. I'm just gonna try to sleep."

"Okay. Call me if you don't feel better…Or you could just sneak into my window." Veronica appreciated his effort, trying to make her feel better. At least he was his usual snarky self.

"Naw. I'll use the chimney this time." He laughed and then hung up the phone. As soon as his voice had disappeared Veronica felt guilty again. She spent the rest of the night trying to focus her attention on something else, anything but Martha or the Heathers.

The next morning she looked as exhausted as she felt. She didn't even have the strength to cover the dark rings under her eyes with makeup. She certainly did not feel very beautiful this morning. As she marched into school, she felt like she was walking to attend another funeral. Heather Duke's implanted breasts greeting her at the school entrance did not make her feel any better. Neither did her smug smile. Veronica knew that whatever she had to say it was going to ruin her already horrendous morning.

"Martha Dumptruck took a belly-flop off the Old Mill Bridge last night, holding a suicide note." All at once Veronica's fears boiled over to the surface.

"Oh my god. Is she dead?" Heather Duke laughed. She had the nerve to laugh. What kind of heartless bitch laughs when someone tries to kill themselves?

"About time too. Of course, I'd of thought she'd kick the can because of one too many donuts." Veronica couldn't believe this was happening. Martha was her best friend, how could she be dead? Veronica thought she was going to pass out.

"No…Oh god no…" Heather Duke's laugh suddenly transformed into Heather Chandler's. Their laughter ignited all the penned up rage that was growing inside Veronica. She glared at the Heathers. She may have accidentally killed three people, but they were the real killers. As far as she was concerned they murdered Martha. The unfairness of it all was overwhelming. Veronica couldn't take it anymore, and stormed out. Heather, Ram and Kurt didn't leave her alone. They followed her, laughing.

"Now you're truly a Heather." They teased. She had to find JD. She couldn't deal with this alone.

Veronica found him, of course, at the 7Eleven. She didn't even say anything, just hugged him and buried her face in his black jacket. After his shoulder was soaked with her tears, she let go and stared at him in the face.

"You were right. The only place Marthas and Heathers can get along is in heaven." JD looked away from her. He was finally started to heal. No more killing people. He had promised.

"Veronica, you said you wanted to be normal."

"There is no normal. How do you expect me to just go on leading a normal life a-after they killed my best friend? My only friend."

"I'm your friend too." Veronica immediately felt guilty.

"I know that. I just…I can't accept what happened to Martha. I can't let that happen to anyone else."

"So you want to kill Heather Duke?"

"I-I just want high school to be over…" Veronica stared down at the hard linoleum floors. JD understood how she felt. He felt the same way. But he also wanted a life with her. He wanted to be seventeen.

"Please. Help me."

"Veronica. That day after Ram and Kurt's funeral. You changed something inside of me. I-I can't do it. Not anymore." JD's heart fell to pieces as Veronica's face changed from sad to angry and betrayed. Before he could stop her, she stormed out. He stood there, holding his slushie, which was still half full.

JD wasn't sure what to do. He had never really felt this hopeless since his mother had killed herself. He worshiped Veronica, he'd trade his life for hers. He didn't want her to throw her life away. He decided to go home, and try to call her. His father greeted him holding a copy of Moby Dick, and he was suddenly overcome with despair.

"You're friend Veronica stopped by. She told me everything."

"Everything?"

"Your depression, thoughts of suicide. She even showed me your copy of Moby Dick." JD had never seen his dad this concerned about him. His dad had barely noticed him since his mother died. What would make him care so much now?

"I don't want you to die like your mother did." JD wasn't listening. He grabbed the copy of Moby Dick in his hands. Veronica had his handwriting down cold. She always was good at forging notes. He dropped the book as he ran upstairs. He knew what she was going to do. As he ran through the hallway, he heard the latch on the window open.

"Knock, knock." Veronica's once comforting voice said. Now it sent shivers up his spine. "Sorry for coming in the window, _dreadful _edict I _know_." JD sprinted into his room and slammed the door shut. The gun was still on his night-stand, but he could never use it against Veronica. Never.

"All is forgiven!" Her voice rang out from the other side of the door, sounding cheerful. "Come out, and put on a suit. You're my date to the pep rally tonight."

"Pep rally?"

"I _may_ have suggested to Ms. Fleming that we organize a tribute-pep rally to honor those that we lost." She laughed, like a crazy maniac.

"_You chucked me out like I was trash, for that you should be dead, but, but, but, then it hit me like a flash, what if high school went away instead? Those assholes are the key, they're keeping you away from me. They made you blind, messed up your mind, but I can set you free." _

"_You left me and I fell apart."_ JD couldn't tell if she was talking about him or Martha. _"I punched the wall and cried, BAM BAM BAM, but then I found you changed my heart,"_ JD couldn't help but feel the cold irony of how it was her that had changed his mind._ "And let lose all that truthful shit inside, and so I stole your bomb. Tonight our school is Vietnam, it's guaranteed they never see they're senior prom!" _There was a time when JD would have agreed whole-heartedly with her, but now he could only picture them going out to see movies, not blowing up schools.

"_I was meant to be yours." _JD began, trying to make Veronica understand. _"We were meant to be one. Don't give up on me now. Finish what we begun."_ Maybe he could make her see that he still wanted to be seventeen with her.

"_I was meant to be yours-"_ Veronica chimed in. JD thought for a moment everything would be alright, but then Veronica remembered her true purpose. _"So when the high school gym goes BOOM! With everyone inside. Bchw! Bchw! Bchw! In the rubble of their doom, we'll plant this note explaining why they died…_We the students of Westerburg High, will die. Our burnt bodies may finally get through, to you. Your society turns out slaves and blanks, no thanks. Signed the students of Westerburg High. Goodbye…_We'll watch the smoke pour out the doors. Bring marshmallows, we'll make s'mores. We can smile and cuddle while the fire roars!"_

"_I was meant to be yours! We were meant to be one!" _JD tried one last time. Veronica shouted over him.

"_I can't make it alone! Finish what we begun. You were meant to be mine-"_

"_I am all that you need!" _JD pleaded.

"_You carved open my heart! Can't just leave me to bleed. _JD! _Open the, open the door please. _JD! _Open the door. _JD! _Can we not fight anymore please? Can we not fight anymore?" _The pain in her voice killed JD, but he knew he only had one option. For now he could only stall.

"_Veronica, sure you're scared I've been there, I can set you free!"_

"_JD don't make me come in there, I'm gonna count to three! ONE! TWO! _Fuck it!_ THREE!" _The gun shot echoed through the small house.

"JD?" Veronica's voice called out, now small and scared. She stared into the room and saw the gun wound in her boyfriend's chest. "Oh my God. No…_Please don't leave me alone. You were all I could trust. I can't do this alone…STILL I WILL IF I MUST!"_ Veronica swore she could hear Heather, Ram, Kurt, and now Martha too singing behind her. She heard JD's father rushing upstairs due to the gunshot.

"JD?" Veronica rocketed to the window and hopped out, holding back tears. But she had a duty she had to fulfill.

"JD! NO. Not you too…" JD's father knelt next to his son's cold, lifeless body. "I'm sorry. I-I've failed you." He clutched his son's cold hand. He nearly had a heart attack when JD sprung back up, full of life. Most certainly not dead. He looked shocked and panicked.

"JD! Y-you're alive!" His father exclaimed.

"Yes. It was a joke. I was just joking."

"But it was so realistic…"

"Yeah. Just paint. And a little tranquilizer. I shot the bullet into the ceiling." JD explains pointing up to the bullet hole in the ceiling.

"_Ich Luge._"

"What?" His father asks.

"It's German. Anyway. I've got to go, I've got a date I can't miss." JD ran past his father and out the door, leaving his father sitting there bewildered.

"_She wanted someone strong who could protect her, but I let my anger fester and infect her. My solution was a lie, no one here deserves to die. Except for me and the monster I created…Veronica! You're a dead girl walking. Can't hide from me, you're a dead girl walking. And there's your final bell. It's one more dance and then farewell, Cheek-to-cheek in hell with a dead girl…walking…"_

He ran into the gymnasium, out of breath.

"_OhohohOOH. Come on Westerburg! OhohohOOH. Here we go, here we go now!" _Heather McNamara chanted.

"JD?! Veronica just told me you committed suicide." Ms. Fleming looked shocked to see JD.

"Yeah? Well she's wrong about a lot of things."

"Hm. Well I threw together a lovely tribute, especially considering the short notice."

"Ms. Fleming, what's under the gym?"

"The boiler room."

"That's it."

"JD, what's going on?"

"_We've no time to talk or you're a dead girl walking."_

"_Heyo Westerburg. Tell me what's that sound? Here comes Westerburg, coming to put you in the ground! GO GO Westerburg! Give a great big yell. Westerburg will knock you out and send you straight to hell!"_

JD made it to the basement just in time to see Veronica kneeling over a bomb, her croquet mallet at her side. JD held his gun up, but his hand was shaking.

"Step away from the bomb." She turned around and began laughing.

"You should know this isn't a bomb. This is just to trigger your packs of thermals upstairs in the gym."

"Those are bombs." She laughed at his answer. "You stole my dad's explosives." She just continued to laugh. It unnerved him. He had killed so many, so why was he having trouble shooting Veronica? Because he loved her? He hadn't known what love was since his mom died. He didn't want to forget again.

"People are gonna see the ashes of Westerburg High and they're gonna think, there's a school that self-destructed not because society doesn't care, but because that school was society! The only place that Heathers and Marthas can get along is in _heaven_."

"_I wish Martha had been a little stronger. I wish she'd stayed around a little longer. I wish Heather was good, I wish grownups understood! I wish the world would care, I wish that would be fair. I wish you'd come with me-"_

"_I wish I had more TNT." _Veronica lunged at JD, but he didn't have the strength to shoot her. She grabbed ahold of the gun, but he kicked her in the stomach. She fell backwards and grabbed her croquet mallet. The entire time he could hear the cheerleaders upstairs chanting. It felt like they were mocking him.

"_Heyo Westerburg, tell me what's that sound? Here come Westerburg, coming to put you in the ground!" _She sprung forward, raising her croquet mallet. JD's hand tightened on the gun._ "GO GO Westerburg, give a great big yell, Westerburg will knock you out and send you straight to hell!"_

The bang rang through the boiler room. The steady beep of the trigger still counted down in the background. JD could only focus on Veronica's crumbled body, lying on the ground. He dropped the gun. He didn't know what to do, except what he came for. He grabbed the trigger bomb and ran, as fast as he could. He exited the boiler room and zigzagged through the school hallways, till he found his way to the field. As far away as he could get. He collapsed, both physically and emotionally drained.

He gazed around the field and up at the school. The high school he was about to sacrifice his life for. A day or two ago he would have been the one blowing it up. He guessed it wasn't so bad. His mother didn't even died for anything. At least he would. Maybe in another world he could have had a life with Veronica. Maybe another lifetime. Maybe in heaven. Or hell.

"Smart thinking. Bringing the trigger far enough away that it wouldn't activate the bombs." Veronica's voice spoke behind him.

"Veronica…" There was a small trail of blood dripping down from her blue shoulder-padded suit. She moved forward and curled her delicate hands around the bomb, pulling away it from JD and to herself.

"_I am damaged. Far too damaged."_

"_But I'm far beyond repair". _JD told her. He understood what she was trying to do. "

"_Stick around here. Make things better, cause you beat me fair and square. Please stand back now…" _JD took a step back. _"Little further." _

"_Don't know what this thing'll do. Hope you miss me, wished you kissed me, then you'd know I worship you…"_

"_Don't trade your life for mine." _JD asked her.

"_But I must…"_

"_I won't let you disappear…" _JD moved back towards Veronica.

"_Wait hold on."_

"_I won't stay if you're not here."_ JD held her, so that the bomb was in-between them.

"_Not this way." _Veronica pleaded, wanting to save him. He held her hand and they looked each other in the eyes, without anger or fear or guilt.

"_Our love is God…"_ JD told her, trying to calm her. _"Our love is God…Our love is God…Our love is God…" _The beeping was going berserk now, about to go off. Veronica smiled at JD. _"Let's say hi to God…"_ He smiled back, a real smile, for the first time in what felt like ages.


End file.
